The podcast was HardFork, and the guest was giving his input on how AI was impacting people's cognitive function.
Immediately, I thought about telling friends that I write to preserve the skills that people are choosing to delegate to a computer: to be able to come up with ideas, filter them, get creative and be able to articulate in a way that resonates.
And just like any other skill - it’s something that you have to actively work on if you want to get better and reap the benefits of having it.
Creating a healthy lifestyle is no different. You cannot off load learning the skills you need to create the life you want.
Yet, I meet people who believe they can just buy the pill, look the part and everything will be okay.
Whether you’ve been tempted to find a shortcut or quick fix is irrelevant.
What matters is that I know you’re reading this because you care about your health and wellbeing. You may not have it all figured out but that consistent effort is granting you what no magical pill can give- an opportunity to build character, discover your true strength and make connections.
Like the saying goes: the way you do one thing is the way you do everything.
So, today we will dive into how to engage with the challenge of change instead of trying to avoid it. You’ll understand how to keep moving even when you consider stopping.
Challenging versus Hard (Reframe Statement)
This. Is. Hard.
The ultimate statement that almost sounds like a justification for not doing the work.
Sometimes, it becomes a synonym for impossible.
The reality is that every skill you’ve learned how to do was hard at one point.
And the funny part is, through the practice is how you make it feel effortless.
But it isn’t helpful to say, be grown up and just do the work. What is, is showing you how to reframe the “this is hard” when you’re in the middle of a set, walking sluggishly after a long day, struggling to eat food that makes you feel good or simply putting your phone down to get to bed.
Reframing is like switching lenses in which you see the situation you are in. Like looking at something from a different angle or even running up the bleachers to see the whole stadium.
You can do this with every statement, to your benefit or detriment.
For example, every time a client says “This is hard.” I acknowledge the difficulty and guide them to reframe with “This is challenging”. It shifts it from feeling unattainable to being in the process of getting better.
When your mind believes everything you tell it, so when you reframe from “hard” to “challenging” you side step perfectionism and focus on staying engaged in the process.
Identify Level of Challenge
Stop expecting to be an expert the first time you attempt something you’ve never done before. It quickly becomes a self-judgement and discourages you from attempting it again.
This does not mean you don’t try - rather, it gives you an opportunity to know what feels like too much and to find your sweet spot.
For example, the self-determination theory suggests that optimal challenge, paired with feelings of competence enhances intrinsic motivation. It explains how if it's too challenging or too easy, you won’t be as engaged and more likely to withdraw.
The way we use this is by identifying what keeps you going when learning a new skill/tool and when you become disengaged.
Here are a series of questions to guide you.
Can I break the task into smaller parts that feel achievable, or does the whole challenge seem overwhelming?
Am I curious and interested in this task, or am I questioning its value or relevance to my goals?
Do I enjoy collaborating or learning independently in this context?
Does this feel irrelevant, repetitive or without meaning?
Are there external interruptions or internal disruptions that pull me away from learning?
Each one of these gives you context of what you need to stay focused, committed to trying and how to continue. No matter how big or small the challenge is, you can get creative when it comes to how you approach it.
Less Strict Challenge (It doesn’t have to be so strict)
Challenges don’t have to feel so strict. There might be deadlines or benchmarks for needing to learn or complete a new task, but you can still make it your own and fun!
One way to do this is by gamifying the challenge. Gamifying any task supports competence, autonomy and relating to other people. This boosts your motivation and keeps you engaged.
Use your community:
Invite your friends to be part of a step challenge
Use an app that rewards you with badges for completing workouts
Compete with your gym family to see who improves the most over the summer.
Find what works for you and do more of that:
Create a bingo card that encourages you to practice certain habits
See how creative you can get with creating a high-protein meal
Video record your exercises and see how you progress over the weeks
Celebrate it all:
Give yourself a high five at the end of every workout
Take yourself out for a nice time after overcoming a particularly difficult challenge
Enjoy a day off from thinking about the challenge after working on it
Approaching this way gives you control. Control to use what you know works for you and not hinder you.
Challenges are part of the process. But by reframing how you speak about it, how you approach it and stay engaged - you increase the chances of you overcoming and succeeding. You’ll be able to learn from each experience and use that to continue moving forward instead of avoiding the work.
-Milchu “Challenge” Perez